


the line between mad and misguided

by Aryadrutting



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A potion club, Accidental Dark Lord Destruction, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And misunderstanding, And of course being friends with the dementors, Angst with a Happy Ending, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, But also, Crack Treated Seriously, Dumbledore's utter bafflement with his failed plans, Featuring, It's darker than you think, Misunderstandings, Other, Other's getting called out for being shit to him, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Ravenclaw Pride, Remus Lupin's boggart collection, Severus Snape being called out for his shit, no beta we die like man, so much, taggin this is a nightmare so expect more as time goes on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-01-20 19:47:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21287192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aryadrutting/pseuds/Aryadrutting
Summary: The raven's reaction to Severus Snape's werewolf assignment is a hard no. The consequences of this are varied and far reaching. Accidentally taking down the dark lord is just a bonus really.OrJust because something is justified it doesn't make it right.
Relationships: Luna Lovegood & Roger Davies, Marcus Belby & Roger Davies, Penelope Clearwater & Robert Hilliard, Penelope Clearwater & Severus Snape, Penelope Clearwater/Percy Weasley, Remus Lupin & Harry Potter, Remus Lupin & Severus Snape, Robert Hilliard & Severus Snape, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a one shot, than a wild Severus Snape appeared, and apparently I have feelings on the subject. Yes that was a surprise to me too.
> 
> Title is from this quote:  
"You will see that this is true, though you will also see that between the mad and the misguided, the line as a split hair that has been split again." - Dean Koontz, Brother Odd
> 
> English still isn't my first language so be kind!

It’s the last day of September, and Marcus can hardly wait for professor Lupin to arrive and start teaching. This will be his fifth lesson, and up until now every one of his classes were brilliant and funny. The only other teacher who can make him forget it’s a lesson is professor Flitwick, and the half goblin has almost half a century of experience under his belt. Professor Lupin can do the same, without actually having any credentials, or similar jobs. He asked him.

So when it’s Snape who shows up instead of Lupin he is kind of disappointed. Not like Roger, his friend hates potions only a slightly less than his inability to talk to girls; but he is. Professor Snape is quite knowledgeable in many fields, a fucking genius in potions, but he is not a good teacher. If he weren’t tutored by his uncle, he would be incredibly lost in his class. 

The man can’t even put this on his genius, because come on! If Damocles Belby can explain it to him in a way he can understand it, so could he. According to the sixth and seventh years he is much better with them, more irritation and less cold fury. Penelope Clearwater tells them, he can’t suffer the incompetent, and does not have the patience to guide the young. It’s sink or swim on your own, because he will tell you how to do it, but sure as hell won’t help you with it.

Again the man is brilliant, just… not teacher material.

Marcus can already hear Roger silently grumbling beside him, and he can see the puffs cringing. His yellow and black year mates have a collective grudge against the man. Talent against hard work, not a good combination. He wants to snicker, because while the puffs don’t like him, professor Snape respects them, exactly for their hard work. That man is a walking contradiction, he can’t figure him out. Like at all.

So he is just as baffled as everyone else when the man starts to talk about werewolves. Just, what?! It’s one thing that it’s third year material, because professor Lupin is making them learn it, but they weren’t supposed to learn about sentient creatures until January. And here comes their potion professor and literally gives zero fuck about their lesson plans. It doesn’t make sense.

He doesn’t really listen, more occupied to figure out the potioner’s plan. Because there has to be some kind of a plan, the man loves confusing people, but he is not this random. Why would he want them to write a whole essay on werewolves and the ways to kill them? It’s not like he is the one who has to read it. By the time it will be completed, professor Lupin should be better. Actually, why did he left them so much time to write it. It’s not like there isn’t any research material, he just needs to ask his uncle and he will write something that’s a mix of defense and potions. Anyone who does not accept Democles as an accurate source is a fool. He has some advantage, but the library is still full of books and scrolls on werewolves, why did he make sure he isn’t the one who will ne-…

Holy shit!

Marcus is a fool, it’s full moon today and professor Lupin isn’t here. He isn’t here and Snape is giving them a lecture about werewolves, making them write an essay on killing them. It seems cruel, and for all his failings the potion master is rarely cruel. Hardass, stubborn and perfectionist? Yes, all of it, but he only ever seen him cruel to Potter, his friends and the Longbottom boy. So to make a man read all the ways a child would kill him, for something he can’t control? Yeah, it’s not good, even by the man standards.

And it’s not just that. For all his faults, professor Snape cannot bear bullies. He had seen the detentions he gave, for making Luna Lovegood cry, McLagen was cleaning cauldrons for months. According to Cho and the Gryffindors, not even Potter could make him so angry. And he hates the boy. This whole thing just. Does not make sense. Like maybe he has something against werewolves, or is it just professor Lupin? He doesn’t know, but he needs to ask someone, but he also, can’t do that. It’s okay that he guessed it, but he is a _Belby_, of course he did, but it’s not his secret to tell. He knows all the grudges against weres, he won’t make it harder for his favorite professor.

This doesn’t mean he will just sit still and let all this happen. He can write an essay on killing where it isn’t the main focus, and he is sure he can make Roger do the same. His best friend already hates the potion professor; this won’t help with that if he is reading his glare correctly.

It’s not enough. Their work won’t make all the others null.

It’s not much but… it is a start.

* * *

Roger Davis is halfway through his essay when it all clicks, and he nearly snaps his pen in half. Marcus looks up from his own homework with a questioning look in his eyes, and yeah he is pretty certain his friend knows too. This tweak on the essay was his idea all along. Still it takes him a few seconds before he decides to ask him about it.

“Were you going to tell me?” and if the flinch is anything to go by, the answer is no.

“I was hoping you realize it yourself. I…it wasn’t my secret to tell.” He nods, because it’s true, and Marcus is a Belby, it makes sense he found it out so quickly. The rest of them don’t have a potions genius whose specialty is werewolves a letter away. The fact that his brain needed extra two days to put it together isn’t weird at all. What is interesting how little time he actually needed, which means…

“You weren’t exactly stuble.” he needs to cover his mouth not to laugh out loud, he doesn’t want to get them kicked out of the library. His friend looks a little bashful and absolutely unrepentant, and okay he is calm now. The little snickers that leave his mouth as he tries to speak again are just an illusion. “Anyone else who knows?”

“Apparently every seventh and sixth year, and majority of the fifth.” Which actually puts an ends to his laughing because just what?!

“That’s…” he starts and Marcus nods.

“An awfully lot of people? Yeah, most of them guessed before the essay. Apparently professor Lupin is really bad at keeping it secret.” If what he says is true, that’s the understatement of the century. It looks like nobody in this school can keep a secret not even to save their lives. But what’s most interesting is that the man is still teaching, he knows many of his schoolmates thinks werewolves are both lesser than them. And dangerous.

“And no one reported or told anything? Not even the Slytherins?” Marcus shrugs.

“They are not idiots. Lupin is their best shot for the OWL’s and NEWT’s, they aren’t going to jeopardize it.” He is right, the DADA professor is the first who has actually taught them anything. Even he was panicking a little and his exams are more than a year away. He doesn’t want to know how the older ones were feeling. Which reminds him.

“We should find out if anyone in our year knows, or like below.”

“I am fairly certain Cho does,” Marcus answers without missing a single beat “although if she does she hasn’t told Marietta yet.”

“Are you sure about it?” Cho and Marietta are attached by the hip the chances they haven’t told something to the one or other is small.

“Marietta can’t keep a secret to save her life, you know her.” And he does. The girl is a gossip. The worst part is that she isn’t doing it out of malice, mostly the secrets just slip out of her. She is rather like Hagrid in that way.

“Shouldn’t we do something about this? Stop it from spreading, or something like that?” Sure the upper years aren’t tattling, but the others don’t have anything to stop them. He doesn’t want his professor to suffer because of some bigots.

“I don’t think we can. Thanks to Snape a few days and the whole school will know it.” There is an unhappy frown on Marcus’ face, and Roger knows that his friend actually likes the potions professor, unlike him. The only reason he is willing to take his class until graduation is because he will need potions later on, if he is going to be an auror. At least the man has humor, even if it’s dark and mostly directed at him. He likes insulting people and giving them detentions. If he thinks about it this witch hunt is really not the man’s style, he doesn’t put people in danger. Not even Potter and his friends.

Still no matter how hard the potion master tries or what Marcus thinks, it will take much more than a few days for the whole school to know. Both of them underestimate the school’s ability to ignore the obvious, and the raven’s passive mentality.

“I think our house will guess it,” Marcus looks at him and leans forward a little, interested of what he thinks their house is going to do. He anticipates something dramatic, or terrible or both, and he knows his friend is going to be disappointed by this. “and they won’t do anything about it.”

Marcus blinks, once, twice, three times before asking.

“As in telling their parents or ministry officials?” he leans back in his chair trying to get comfortable before shaking his head.

“As in anything. No bad, no good. We are Ravenclaws, Marcus. Knowledge, curiosity, creativity, those are our strength. Thinking, not doing.” He shuts his eyes, but even like this he can picture his friend frowning. “We will keep this to ourselves, and in a few weeks we will forget that it ever happened. Maybe we will write some studies later on how unfair is this, or like your uncle invent a potion that will help weres to feel better on full moon. But we won’t go out and start a riot. That’s not what we are.”

It’s rather depressing if he thinks about it. He likes doing. He likes moving and thinking on his feet and coming up with new strategies on the spot. And it’s not just he likes it. He is good at it. Not Ron Weasley good, of course, but he is one of the few people in the school who won a chess match against the boy. So his house sometimes irritates him to no end.

“Sometimes I think we should.” His eyes particularly snap open as he stares at his friend. Marcus looks like he isn’t even aware he said that aloud, but apparently he is because the next second he looks up and smiles at him. “Start a riot I mean.” He chuckles humorlessly at first, but somehow it turns into a real laugh. “Oh God, think about Dumbledore’s face. I don’t think any of his plans would remain intact!”

And apparently the image of their headmaster’s confused face is enough for him to start laughing too.

Despite their best efforts they do get kicked out of the library.

* * *

Penelope Clearwater can not put into words how _fucking_ thankful she is for Lupin. Like, the man is a savior, an actual angel descended from heaven to save them. Everyone in her year thinks so, or at least the ones who are in his NEWT classes. Percy Weasley almost started to cry when the man made all of them personal study plans, so they could catch up and ace their NEWTs. Every. One. Of. Them. They know that he is a werewolf, the man is not subtle, with his scars and his worst fear being the moon. Her classmates knew before he “came down with something” on full moon.

So this essay professor Snape assigned them? She wants to just, tear it apart and burn it. Without magic. She wants to drench it in ink, to take it and feed it to…

She almost tears through the blasted thing when a hand touches her shoulder. If she does there is no way in hell she is writing it again, so she turns towards the housemate that startled her, ready to snap. And she finds herself face to face with a worried Cho Chang. The fourth year brows are drawn in concern, and she can hear the question before the girl actually asks it.

"Yes, I am all right. No, I don't need help, you are like three years younger than me anyway." The moment the words leave her mouth she wants to take them back. The young seeker hasn't done anything wrong, she shouldn't be the target of her anger. That would be Severus Snape, but she can't actually go and scream at her favorite professor, no matter how much he deserves it.

And Chang is going to places if her patience is anything to go by, because she doesn't snap back instead she smiles and says.

"Yeah, we are angry too."

There's a few seconds while she contemplates denying the whole thing, before she decides against it. Clearly nobody in this school can keep a secret, and if Cho knows it's only matter of time Marietta will too. She looks around and sure, everyone is looking at them with various expressions of concern and anticipation and curiosity. What she absolutely doesn’t see is surprise. Well looks like her year isn’t the only one with brains. She should have expected it; they are Ravenclaws after all. Instead she was caught up in her own bitter anger, regretting the fact she couldn’t do anything.

But this? This she can work with.

* * *

According to her housemates the plan is going great. A little bit too great if anyone would ask Luna. Nobody does, which is a pity, because her their head is probably filled with baby aquavirius maggots, and she knows exactly five ways to counter them. They are trying to show Professor Snape that what he did was cruel and unnecessary, just make him a little irritated by barely acknowledging him in class. She agrees to a point, but she is sure that the plan won’t work. The professor bares the signs of inamari poisoning and they attack both the heart and the mind. They are really nasty, hard to counter and even harder to cure, and she is sure ignoring him isn’t the way to do it.

Then again this is just half of the plan. It’s more about making themselves noticeable. To make the other teachers do something about the problem.

Penelope was pretty sure Snape would call them out sooner or later, or just berate them for being pain in the ass, as she put it. He can't do much else, because they are not actually dumbing their own work down, just act as if they don't care. If nothing else, he would tell it to their head of house and they have a chance to explain themselves. Which is exactly what they want.

Only after two weeks of being passive aggressive and cold, nothing happens, as she predicted inamari’s poison doesn’t go away just like that. By this point the other houses realized something was going on and some of them started mimicking them. Or tried to at least, because they don’t seem to understand why this is happening only that they are kind of rude to professor Snape and getting away with it.

But it’s not only professor Snape who lets them, but the other teachers too.

Which is strange.

She is pretty sure the last time she heard Penelope answering in clipped tones to the potion master, she caught the headmaster smiling approvingly. Or maybe a morped is messing with her head, despite wearing a whole carrot to counter them.

The worst is that professor Snape isn’t doing anything either, yeah he is more irritated than usual, but it looks like he resigned himself to their cold shoulder, and is determined of stubbornly ignore the problem. If it goes on like this the blow up won’t be pretty.

She has to tell someone about this, the question is who. There are only so many people who would talk to her, even less who would listen. Penelope won’t, not when she is so worked up about it, and her brother usually follows her lead in important questions.

Well, that leaves one person.

* * *

Roger has no idea why Luna Lovegood came to him and not Marcus. Especially with a potion problem. But she looks the particular brand of stubbornness he is see when he looks into the mirror, so he knows she won’t leave until he helps her, but the why eludes him. 

“So why did you bring us here?”

The here is a hidden alcove most people use for making out, not secret meeting about potions. He just hopes that’s not the new code for the former, because the idea of kissing the tiny girl makes him want to vomit.

“We have a problem.”

“We?” because sue him, the plural confuses him even more than the situation.

“With Penelope’s plan.” like it’s obvious. Maybe it is for her, but what _he_ has to do with it is still a mystery.

“So talk to her.” she shakes her head, and glares at him a little like he is being an idiot.

“No, she is too stubborn, she won’t listen to me.”

“Have you actually tried talking to her? And what’s the problem with the plan? I thought it was working fine? Did something happen?” because if Snape went and did something to Luna he is going to have words with the potions master. Never mind that the man has the ability of a dueling champion. He will fight him with his bare hands if needed.

“It’s working, and it is not.” And okay, she lost him there again and all he wants is an explanation not this whole cryptic bullshit, but he sees how she is biting her lips, like she is trying to explain herself and doesn’t has the right words to do it. And he doesn’t have the heart to be rude to her at all. He can do this; they just need to get to the same page. He already has an idea.

“Explain it to me. Your words.” because everyone in the school knows Luna keeps talking about impossible creatures, and if it’s easier for her to talk in metaphors and imaginary things, he will take it.

“I think our plan was sidetracked by dorimps.” and he has no idea what that is, but at least they are going _somewhere_.

“Is that what they normally do?” her eyes widen a little. And oh… He knew not many people indulge her way of thinking, besides the Weasley girl, so his acceptance must be weird to her. If he thinks about it, he hasn’t seen anyone else talking to her in a friendly way. Just tolerating and snappish, like they don’t have the time, the patience for her. He usually is better at noticing things about people, why didn’t he see this.

He vows to do something about it later, when they aren’t hiding in a make-out alcove. Now he just listens. 

“They let your wish come true, just not the way you think of.”

“So when we made the plan, we wanted them to listen…”

“...and change things. And they did, but not for the better.” he frowns, doesn’t remember anything bad happening. Yeah Snape is crankier than normal, but that’s understandable. 

“Have you seen something?”

“Dumbledore smiling.” which again, explains nothing. The old goat is always smiling mysteriously, that’s not new.

“I assume there is more to it?” 

She nods so hard; she almost hits her head on his chest.

“He was smiling when Penelope was being mean to professor Snape.” And okay, right that is weird. For all his inability to keep the school safe, Dumbledore is not cruel. And neither is Penny, but she has been angry at Snape since the very start of this mess. Probably because he is her favorite professor, and the fact the man is not as good as she imagined hit her hard.

“So you think the headmaster approves?” because what they have been doing is kind of rude, and that’s exactly the point. If the teachers actually encourage it, this won’t go anywhere.

“He wants to teach professor Snape a lesson.” Luna says this with such confidence he doesn’t even try to question her.

“And his favorite students giving him a cold shoulder is a good one in his books. Did he try to talk to him?” because they are all adults and sometimes they aren’t idiots, so they probably tried to sort this out in a grown up manner. Given the fact these are the same people who hid a priceless artifact in a castle full of children, he doesn’t have too much hope

“I don’t know but…” and she is biting her lips again, looking unsure and so much younger than twelve; and he wants to go and _talk_ with the idiots who made fun of her. She is obviously cleverer than all of them. Still that’s a future him problem. Now he just needs to understand what the hell is going on and do something about it.

“But?”

“The other teachers seem angry with him too.” 

He opens his mouth to ask what the hell is she talking about, when it dawns to him. She is right. Usually they don’t let them get away with so much, hell McGonagall scolded Marcus the last time he said something about professor Trelawney and the woman hates the divination professor.

And if McGonagall was enabling them… the others must be doing the same.

Luna is right. This is not good. They need to do something about this.

Still the question remains…

“Why me? You know I don’t like potions, that I don’t like Snape. Hell I think there isn’t a single soul in this school who doesn’t know that.” because everyone knows he hates potions, that he isn’t fond of the professor either. Still she came to him instead of Penny, the prefect, the head girl, the one who planned this all.

The smile that appears on her face is so warm he needs to look away.

“Because you are one of the kindest people I know. And I don’t think you not liking him will stop you from doing the right thing.” And he can only blink for at least half a minute, waiting his brain to process what she said. That may have been the biggest compliment anyone ever told him, even if he doesn’t think it’s true.

But she is right on one thing. He won’t let this get out of hand, because this whole plan isn’t going anywhere. It just keeps hurting Snape and no matter how much he hates the guy and his classes, that doesn’t mean he wants to needlessly torture him.

They are going to stop this whole thing, but to do that they need one more person. So he grabs Luna by her wrist and starts to drag her towards the potions classroom.

“Come on! We are going to need Penny for this one.”

* * *

Penny spent the last potion lessons switching between _politely_ smiling at her professor and being colder than an Azkaban cell on the winter. She knows her house opted to be more cold than false smiles, but Rob and Percy tell her it’s kind of terrifying and creepy, so she keeps alternating between the two. It takes several weeks but professor Snape actually asks her, if everything is all right. The _“of course professor”_ that leaves her mouth is dripped in honey and sarcasm and she cherishes the look of utter bafflement on the potion master’s face.

But what really stops her is the flash of hurt.

And oh, she never thought of that. Because yeah, she was angry; angry as fuck at Snape for doing this to Lupin, but she never ever imagined she could actually hurt him. Which, is stupid of her, really. She is the best potioner the school has seen in years, along with Rob, and they usually end up in Snape office to discuss theories three or four times a week. The two of them want to be healers, and they wanted to improve the shit they call healing for years now. And professor Snape was helping them, tutoring them in more advanced potions, and improving the already existing ones together.

Neither of them was there since the DADA lesson. Not once. Both of them shut him out, she kept smiling at him in the most passive aggressive way she knew and she have hurt him. And she was angry and him, still is, and she wanted to punish him the only way she could do it. Now she is thinking that it would have been better if she had stormed his office and berated him about blood purity and not being a complete dick; because what she is doing is just cruel. Being angry at someone, who doesn’t know what he did wrong, and has no way fixing it, is just wrong.

And all of her house is doing the same thing, because she asked them to, and maybe Snape just wanted to know what did he do wrong when he asked her. When he asked one of the two students, (toward he is almost kind) who he thought that actually give a little fuck about him, and he received similar treatment than from the rest.

And yeah her plan had a second part where they were going to explain everything, where they were going to tell the teachers, to professor Snape why they did this; but it looks like along the way she and everyone else forgot about the most important part.

This can’t go on. Sure she is still angry and disappointed, and what Snape did wasn’t all right at all, but neither is what they are doing now. They needed to stop, and make plans, real ones; not just glorified revenge fantasies. Both for making Lupin stay, and making Snape understand. But first she needed to make this right, to ease the pain she had caused. So she takes a deep breath, swallows her anger, burying it for later and looks the professor right in the eyes; smiling without and malicious intent for the first time in a long while.

“It will be professor, please don’t worry about it.” and she particularly runs out of his classroom.

She can feel her eyes tearing up, and it’s stupid, because she doesn’t have a reason to cry, yet here she is. He feels even worse when the first thing out of her brother’s mouth is:

“Oh Merlin, did he hurt you?” It’s filled with worry and fear, and she is just glad Percy needed to run for his next class, because she can barely take this from one person let alone too. She relaxes her clenched fists, and when did she do that? She doesn’t remember so she shakes her head to clear her mind a little, and literally blurts out the first thing she has on her tongue.

“I think we hurt him.”

He doesn’t have time to answer because Luna Lovegood and Roger Davis appear almost from thin air just to stop right in front of her. They are a little out of breath, like they have been running, and it takes a few seconds before any of them can actually talk. She uses the time to blink away her tears, she doesn’t want to worry them unnecessarily. Davis is the first one to recuperate.

“We need to talk.” His voice is hard and full of natural authority, and she knows he is being considered for the quidditch captain role, but this is the first time he looks the part. She nods, because he is right they probably need to talk, the whole house needs to sit down and reevaluate. Although that’s probably not why he is here. “Okay, Clearwater, Penny, listen. I know this was your idea and all, and that you are angry, but I don’t think our plan is working. We need a new one!”

The confidence he had before literally fades away in front of her eyes, and she can’t blame him. She is stubborn, and few people can convince her to change her mind. Her brother is one of them, and occasionally Percy is another. Good thing she doesn’t need convincing on this one.

“You are right.”

“…and the teachers are going along with it too, and what’s the point of this... Wait, what?!” the stream of arguments reach an abrupt end, when the boy finally realizes she is agreeing with him.

“We should stop the plan. It isn’t working, and we are hurting professor Snape.” He blinks at her, but thankfully doesn’t interrupt. She looks up to her brother, because the plan was her idea, but she needs him on board for this. Despite what everyone thinks Rob isn’t just blindly following her around They like to present a united front, what everyone else sees is the product of long talks and fiery arguments. But he just smiles and nods, and okay, they can do this. They are going to get it right this time around. They are going to make professor Snape realize what he did was wrong without hurting him in the process. And maybe, if all things work out, they might just keep professor Lupin too.

“I think it’s time to call a house meeting.”

  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids are all right, or they will be. Lupin and Snape have a limited understanding of what's happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative title is the ravenclaws keep baffling people. Given the fact that this is mild for them, they are in for a ride.
> 
> Also the amount of misunderstanding that will happen in this fic is truly amazing.
> 
> **Warnings:** minimal mention of abuse, just a few words in passing but it's there, flashbacks are mentioned a little more, mentioning of animal deaths due to potion experiments just... look out for Snape's pov. There isn't anything really explicit but the man is not all right

Remus Lupin doesn’t for the life of him understand what is going on; only that it started with Severus’ assigned homework for his class. It was supposed to be about killing werewolves, but it looks like almost all of the Ravenclaws handed him something else. 

He can’t give them a bad mark, because the essays are on topic, well mostly. 

They read more like research essays on weres with the killing methods just thrown in to satisfy the criteria instead of in length discussion on what could kill him.

It’s a perfect balance, one that has to be intentional with so many of his students doing it at the same time.

He is thankful, he really is, but he can’t imaaine what has happened to get this. He is fairly sure they don’t know what he is because if that were the case, he would be kicked out faster than he can say Hogwarts.

He still spends his first week after grading them in gut wrenching fear; waiting for the fateful owl that doesn’t come.

And this isn’t the only weird new habit the ravens develop seemingly overnight. If the cold shoulder they give Severus is anything to go by this whole thing has nothing to do with him and everything to do with the potions professor.

His relief is so strong that it takes him embarrassingly long time to realize, the ravens aren’t the only ones angry with the man. His colleagues don’t even try to stop the students form being rude and he knows this is about the essay because he overheard Dumbledore and McGonagall lecturing the man about secrecy and prejudice.

Still he tries to stop this whole affair, assigning several students detention, but he can’t do much about it. On one hand because despite being rude they don’t actually break any rule, but mostly all of these detentions are overwritten by Dumbledore himself.

Which is not only unnecessary, but actually annoying.

It’s bad enough that the man doesn’t do anything about this, but he is also undermining his authority.

He is used to it, the headmaster has been doing this for a very long time, but it’s one thing to dismiss him during a war preparation, and it’s another inside a school.

Thank Merlin the ravens aren’t using this to their advantage, some of them even seem uncomfortable with the whole thing. Both the lions and the snakes would have loved this leeway. 

But despite all this the ravens don’t stop. At least until one night the whole house suddenly just disappears inside their tower and doesn’t reappear until the morning.

The next day there is no cold shoulder, no passive aggressive come-backs, nothing.

He should be relieved. The students finally understand what they did was wrong and trying to correct their behavior.

It shouldn’t feel like the calm before the storm.

* * *

By the time everyone is gathered in the Common Room, Rob is shaking with nerves. It’s not an official house meeting, not like the ones their head of house ask them to make, but they still listen to him and Penny.

He is both relieved and terrified, because what if he makes terrible decisions. He knows that Penny will stop him if anything goes south, and he would do the same for her, but this whole plan is the prime example that they can make mistakes. That their house will follow them anyway. 

Well most of them.

He glances at Davies and Lovegood who stand beside the couch his sister is sitting, and yeah they follow them, and they love the two of them, but it’s not blind.

It’s not blind at all.

And they are here to correct those mistakes and maybe to make new ones. Who knows? He is terrified and sweaty and wants to run, but it’s the right thing to do, _the brave thing to do_. He is a raven, not a lion, and his hands are shaking and he is still here.

If it will become a mess, the two of them can take the blame.

He looks around, and it appears like everyone is here so he might as well start speaking. They have to be quick, it _will _become strange if they spend too much time on this.

So he stands up, along with Penny, and the other prefects are standing too, which is another relief. They were the only ones who were told explicitly what will be going on here, and they agree with them.

“Okay. Everyone his here, that’s great!” It comes out more like a wheeze than an exclamation and sweet Merlin, he is really bad at this. Why is he doing the talking again?

But no! Rob, you are much better at keeping your calm, it has to be you! He feels anything but calm, and his sister is a liar, and there is no way he will be doing this again.

Okay, deep breath, he can do this.

“I think you already guessed that we are here to discuss the Plan.”

There is a quiet murmuring but no one looks surprised, or tries to interrupt him. That’s good, that means they know this is serious. He takes another deep breath and swallows.

“Has any of you seen something odd with it?” another round of whispers, and now everyone looks kind of confused, which is fair.

“I don’t think any of us noticed anything… Did something happen?” Before he can answer Patil’s question the Belby kid interrupts him, and suddenly all heads are turning to his direction.

“Nothing. That’s the problem right? That nothing is happening.” The kid is clever that’s for sure, then again his friend and the little Lovegood literally ambushed them several hours earlier. He also for some reason looks slightly pale.

“We were supposed to get the teachers’ attention and bring the problem to them, right? But…”

This time it’s Cho Chang who speaks up, and she is frowning. If he thinks about it, she has been doing that a lot recently, which is very unusual for her. She is usually bubbly and caring and warm.

Now she just looks resigned. 

“But the teachers don’t seem to notice it. No… more like they outright ignore it.” He makes a face before nodding.

“Precisely.”

“So we need to change tactics.” And it’s Padma again. It looks like the gears inside her brain are already turning, but before she can say anything Michael Corner butts in.

“Do we?” Literally every head snaps to his direction and the face he makes would have been funny if this wasn’t something so serious. “I mean by the ends of the year Lupin will be gone, and professor Snape would still be here. We should just drop it, it’s not like the teachers care…”

The absolute chaos that follows his words is kind of terrifying and it takes Penny and a sonorous charm to quiet them down. His first instinct is to chew out the kid for his passive mentality, but he looks more hopeless than uncaring so he refrains from it.

It’s not like there isn’t any truth in his words. 

Because Lupin _will_ be gone by the end of the year. The curse won’t let him stay more than that, and everything else too will stay the same.

It always stays the same.

And no matter how much he likes professor Snape, the school could use a DADA professor as good as Lupin.

He glances at his sister, and Penny has a contemplating look on her face like this is something she didn’t even consider. A new obstacle she failed to calculate. 

But there is stubbornness too.

She is his sister, and he knows her like no one else, and it’s easy to guess what she is thinking about.

He knows she already decided that Lupin will stay.

Nevermind that this whole plan was only about showing professor Snape how wrong he was. Nevermind that the curse is probably older than any of them. Nevermind that they will need to keep Lupin’s werewolf status a secret forever.

Remus Lupin will stay at the school, if it’s the last thing they will do.

He sighs and clears his throat, drawing everyone’s attention to himself again, and when did it become so quiet? 

It doesn’t matter. He needs to make them focus, one problem at the time. First stopping this whole campaign against the potions professor, then they can talk curses.

“We decided it would be better if we stop the plan.” he raises a hand before anyone can interrupt, because he wants to give reasons first, and listen to complains later. “As the lot of you said, this isn’t working. The teachers and the headmaster are enabling us, and it’s making things worse.”

“Are we sure that they really letting us get away with it?” someone asks from the back of the common room. “Maybe they just don’t pay attention!”

To everybody’s surprise it was Marietta who answers.

“Oh they are enabling us all right.” She starts fidgeting when she realizes that now everyone’s attention is focused on her. “I… professor Lupin wanted to give me detention… for being rude to professor Snape…” she pauses for a second, gathering courage to keep talking. “...the headmaster has overwritten it.”

And she is frowning, like she is trying to make sense of the memory and just can’t.

She isn’t the only one.

But he doesn’t have time to ask anything because following her confession some of the others pipe up too, mentioning similar experiences.

Rob can feel his mouth parting, and it takes a serious effort to stop himself from demanding answers from the other confused students. It’s not like they knew more than they have already told.

Well at least they have proof.

And that doesn’t make him feel better at all.

“Did he tell you why?” this is the first time Lovegood spoke since the start of this meeting and it’s so soft that even in the quiet room it’s barely audible.

Marietta blinks a couple of times before nodding, like she just remembered.

“Yeah, he said little things like that shouldn’t warrant such harsh punishment.” It takes a second to sync in, but after it does the little blond looks like someone told her, she won’t be able to do magic anymore.

And she is right this is even worse.

The headmaster didn’t just disregard professor Lupin’s judgment, he just told one of his students that being an ass to someone is acceptable.

Sure he is angry with professor Snape for doing this. He is angry and disappointed and just like Penny he wanted to show the man how wrong he was, but this is taking too far.

They not only managed to hurt him, but show him that no one, not even Dumbledore cared about him; the only exception being the very same man he hates. He would’ve never agreed if he knew they end up here.

Because this? This is not making someone understand he did wrong. This is plain bullying and just wrong. And sure they have failed with their plan spectacularly, but the adults supposed to stop them from growing out of proportion.

Not encouraging it.

Not making it worse.

He looks at Penny who is in a similar state of disbelief because how is this happening? 

“I think we should take five.” He takes hysterical laughter that bubbles up from her as an agreement.

* * *

According to Roger, five minutes is not, in fact, enough for the whole house to calm down. 

Robert and Penny have huddled together with the other prefects looking like a bunch of headless chicken trying to make a working plan. And yeah, no. He is not a prefect, so not his problem.

He glances at the tiny blond girl at his side who is nervously scanning the crowd, and there is no way he is leaving her alone. Not after this. Not with that hollow look in her eyes. Instead he takes her by her wrist and starts to walk towards Marcus’ general direction.

It takes less than five seconds to pick his best friend out of the crowd, because the other looks like he mixed pepper-up potion with coffee, and added some strong tea to shake things up a bit.

“Are you all right?” He asks when they finally reach him, and Marcus is not a fidgety person and now he can’t seem to stop. 

He also looks like a ghost.

“You know I’m not sure…” and Roger goes straight past intrigued and lands on worried. With the hand he isn’t holding Luna’s wrist, he guides his friend towards the nearest couch to sit.

“Tell me you slept last night.” Marcus smiles. It’s a shaky thing, and he knows the other’s tired smile, he is used to it, and this is not that. At least not entirely.

“I did, like two or three hours.” which again isn’t great, but his friend looked better on less sleep, so this must be something else.

The couch is big enough for all three of them, so he gestures Luna to sit down on the other side, and he plops down between them, still not letting either of them go. When both of them just curl into him, his brain freezes for a second.

Just what?

It’s weird, but instead of questioning he decides to roll with it.

Luna at least looks comfy, but Marcus started shaking a little, which is not good at all.

“Marcus what happened. You were all right this morning.” his friend shakes his head and murmurs something he doesn’t catch. “Mate, I can’t hear you, you need to talk a little louder.”

It’s Luna who answers instead of him.

“He said he just pretended a little better, and that you were distracted after I dragged you away. I… I’m sorry for that…” 

Roger can’t see her face, but he can hear the guilt creeping into her voice, and he can’t have that. So he shakes his head, because it’s not her fault he wasn’t observant enough. It’s also not her fault Marcus decided to be a dumbass and not tell him something was wrong.

“Can you tell me what happened?” He listens more carefully this time, because he wants to actually hear the answer.

“The books I asked from uncle finally arrived last night.” He doesn’t elaborate and first he wants to ask what is he talking about, then he remembers that Marcus asked for books on werewolves. Both research and law and history, everything his uncle has on them. 

“That bad?” because he knows that most sources on dark creatures are biased, and the law is really against them, but he didn’t know the situation was terrible enough to reduce his friend into a shaking mess.

“Worse actually… their living conditions improved since my uncle invented the potion but…” 

But…

He wants to ask, but he can’t. Not now when Marcus looks ready to throw up. Not now when Luna tries to melt into him. Not here in the middle of a house meeting, not when Penny and the others look ready to continue the house meeting.

Not now but… later.

Later he will ask for those book, later he will ask Luna what’s going on, now he just holds his best friend and the blond little girl a little bit tighter.

* * *

Penny had no idea things were this bad.

Before she resumes the meeting she tries to look for Davies, and finds him cuddling Belby and Lovegood. Cute, but also what happened?

Nevermind it’s not important, not right now at least. 

After a quick discussion with the other prefects they decided it was better if Penny took control instead of Rob. She doesn’t agree.

The reason she chose Rob because he could remain calm even if he was full of anxiety and nerves. She was too stubborn and too quick to anger. But she is head girl so she has more authority than her brother and the others think her house needs that now.

She will do it but still doesn’t agree.

“Everyone, break over!” she doesn’t even need the sonorous charm, because the second they hear her voice they stop talking. Weird. “We were discussing about abandoning the plan. Hands up who doesn’t agree!”

No one moves, probably because the new discoveries make everyone as uncomfortable as her. But she will take it, they need this to stop. She isn’t willing to hurt professor Snape any more than this.

She just hopes Rob’s rather horrifying observations weren’t true… Yeah… She isn’t that lucky.

“Okay! Next questio-”

“Wait!” and Michael Corner again, the kid really has some balls, always interrupting, but she can’t fault him for it. In his place she would do the same. It doesn’t mean she likes it, but she sighs and nods towards the third year.

“You were going to stop the plan before the whole Dumbledore thing. Why?” It’s a good question, and she _was_ planning to tell them. It looks like it just slipped her mind during the chaos.

“One reason is that we realized something wasn’t right and upon further inspection we found evidence that the professors let us get away with it.” She needs to take a deep breath, because dear Merlin she hates admitting that she was in the wrong, but really it’s clear as day here. “I never thought it was this bad.” the kid blinks and asks.

“And the other reason?”

She winces. She really doesn’t want to talk about this one, but this is also important. They need to realize that their actions have consequences, and they can’t just go around taking their anger out on people. It’s better they learn from her mistakes than committing their own.

“I… I think we hurt him. Or at least I did. Didn’t think it was possible, but I could see it in his eyes.”

Weirdly enough it shuts them up. There are some passing glances between the third years and it looks like Padma Patil will be the one to take the lead this time.

“But he hurt us too! And professor Lupin, and Harry. I’m sorry but I think hurting him a little is justified.”

And she is ready to tell her no, that what they were doing isn’t right at all, but she is beaten by Davies and she really needs to stop being surprised by the boy at this point it’s just embarrassing.

“Just because it’s justified it doesn’t make it right.” He is still cuddling his friends, and he looks so soft doing it, but his eyes are hard and unbending, daring them to challenge him. It’s kind of terrifying.

And the third years probably don’t know fear, because Terry Boot does just that. This is all Potter’s fault. When you measure your courage against taking down a troll at elven nothing will be good enough.

“Dude, you hate the man. You hate potions and he is dick to you. Why are you defending him?!” Davies frowns and it looks like he is trying to find the right words to explain his reasoning but now she is the one who beats him to it.

“We never told him why are we doing this. We always assumed the other professors or the headmaster will ask, and solve the problem.” Davies cuts in, finding his words rather quickly.

“But they never did and he still doesn’t know why we are giving him a cold shoulder. Man, imagine Corner just stops talking to you out of the blue and you have no idea what you have done wrong. And nobody will tell you. That’s just…”

“...cruel.” Finishes Terry Boot and it looks like finally everyone understands why they need to put an end to this. The boy nods to himself before saying. “Okay, but it doesn’t make it right. What he did still isn’t right, and he needs to know it.”

She can already see this escalating, and she doesn’t want it to happen. They had enough drama for the whole year thank you very much. She was already planning to do this, she might as well tell them.

“I will talk to him.”

And wow, there are several jaws hanging open, and she can hear his brother whimpering beside her. He thinks she wants him there too, right along with her.

She doesn’t. It’s something she has to do alone.

Davies looks at her like she has gone crazy, before blurting out.

“Are you out of your mind? Did the nargles took you brain?”

“Only maggots can take your brain.” Lovegood chips in, blinking sleepily next to the boy, and oh. It’s really late. They haven’t even done that much, and they have been here for hours now. Debating this whole clusterfuck. 

“Maggots than!” he exclaims and she wants to laugh at them. Davies’ tone is warm and friendly, lacking any sort of malice or mockery.

The little blond realizes this too and the starstruck expression she has on is both adorable and hilarious.

“Do you have a death wish? You know there are less painful ways to go than this.” Shouts another one of her housemates.

“Please just don’t do it.” A first year begs.

It spirals. Everyone tries to dissuade her, but she decided this before the meeting, their worry won’t stop her now.

Really professor Snape isn’t even that bad. Sure he is strict, a little too easily irritated and rather die than explain something twice, but he isn’t some kind of dementor who eats children’s souls for breakfast.

Despite her reassuring that she will be all right, thank you very much; it still takes more than ten minutes for everyone to calm down, and stop asking increasingly panicked questions.

Cho is the first who brings up something else.

“What are we doing with professor Lupin?” there is worry in her voice, that it’s mirrored in almost every one of her housemate’s face.

It’s understandable. Lupin is the best DADA professor they had in years, and not just because he is brilliant teacher, but because he looks out for them.

He knew the moment she stepped in front of that boggart it would transform into a basilisk. It barely took a millisecond for him to conjure up a mirror, rendering the beast useless.

So no she won’t let something stupid like a curse to stop him from holding a permanent position.

“We are going to make sure he stays!”

There is too much confidence in her voice, and she has exactly zero idea what she is doing, but that’s okay. She is stubborn and skilled, and she is not alone in this.

They are going to show Snape what he did was wrong without hurting him, and they will make sure Lupin isn’t leaving.

They are Ravenclaws damn it, if they won’t do it, who will?

* * *

Severus Snape knows why the ravens are angry, it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out, and the blue and bronze house is much less subtle than his snakes.

He understands it; Remus Lupin always had his charm, and used it well too. The fact that they fell for it doesn’t surprise him at all, he just hoped some of them would see through the wolf’s facade.

It isn’t happening, and they all blame him, even Clearwater and Hilliard look at him like he murdered someone. Or the boy does, his sister looks more like she is planning his death.

Still he hopes, that they can put away their differences and come to his office after class, just like they always do, and talk about improving potions. The two of them are determined to become healers, and if they aren’t bothering him, then they are harassing Poppy.

When they don’t show up he just sighs and hopes they are mature enough not to compromise their future just because of this. But a week flies and he starts to realize that maybe, they won’t recognize the danger the wolf means for them. A week and half, and it’s clear that no one gets it, not Albus who heard about his assignment and keeps giving him disappointed eyes, not Minerva, who’s just angry with him period, for “attacking” one of her former student, and certainly not the Ravenclaws, who keep glaring at him like he is at fault here.

It would hurt, that they are so ready to blame him, despite knowing him far longer than the beast, if he weren’t so used to it. He is used to the glares and frowns, and he rather be hated than to put them in danger.

Dumbledore might be a fool, when it comes to the safety of his students; but he isn’t. And he might despise children, but he will keep them safe. At least, when the beast will inevitably attack them, they would know what to do, how to defend against it.

Unlike him when he came face to face with it so many years ago.

As time passes the short answers and the abysmal homework assignments he gets from the ravens is getting really really unbearable.

He can’t give them a smaller grade, because all of his requirements are met to a T, but they lack the usual barely contained enthusiasm, and dear Merlin he never thought he will miss _that_.

But still they are hurting themselves with this, just to spite him, and it won’t do them any good.

So he approaches Clearwater, because she is the head girl and a prefect, and the ravens are willing to listen to her. She is one of the students who he actually tolerates, along with her brother.

She is smiling, the same sharp wicked smile she wore since he assigned them the essay. She answers him, just like he thought she would, and it’s sweet, dripping with honey, that tastes like poison, and suddenly he isn’t in his classroom anymore, but nineteen years in the past.

Lily used to smile at him like that, after the Incident.

It hurts more than he is willing to admit it, and he is distracted enough he almost doesn’t realize that Clearwater is talking again.

Her tone is definitely less hostile, but he can hear the still simmering anger just below the surface, and he doesn’t stop her when she almost runs from his classroom. He always had a talent to make people hate him.

The thought almost makes him laugh out loud.

Suspiciously every blue-bronze student disappears after dinner.

When the next day she approaches him and asks if she can drop by in the afternoon, because she has questions about a specific potion, he is a little bewildered. It looks like she is ready to put away her personal feelings, and he is kind of proud of her for that. But he is sure she will want to talk about the beast too, she is too stubborn not to.

He agrees anyway.

His suspicion is proven true, when she arrives without her brother, but he elects to ignore it, allowing her to bring the problem up in her own time.

“So what questions do you have, Miss Clearwater?”

“I’m researching analytical potions, and there is two in particular that has the same effect, yet aurors are required to carry the more complicated one. Like the untangling potion is generally used by healers, and it’s relatively easy, so why do aurors need Obrussa? Why don’t just use the other?” she lets out a frustrated sigh. “I just, couldn’t find the answer no matter which book I checked.”

He almost frowns, because of course the girl stumbled upon one of the most complicated, borderline dark potions there is. It’s legal, but barely, needing a potions and DADA mastery and at least three years of proven experience to make it.

“That’s not an answer they would add to any book; it’s taught after your masteries so most books don’t mention it. It’s a precaution. The less people know the better.”

“So there is a difference, sir?”

He eyes her for several long seconds, before deciding it’ better to just tell her.

The girl is hot-headed, but she never intentionally endangers herself or others. The problem is that she will keep digging until she will find her answers, or just finds the recipe and tries to make her own potion; which is worse.

“I hope you will not be using this for anything reckless. If you do, this might land you in Azkaban for a few years.” He warns her, and her eyes widen for a millisecond before she schools her expression back to determined, and nods.

“I’m a raven, not a lion, I was just interested why nobody would mention it.”

“Not everything is in books, Miss Clearwater, they can be misleading and completely rubbish. It’s experience that really teaches us anything worthwhile.”

For a second something angry flashes in her eyes, before visibly calming herself down. Apparently he touched a nerve.

“But our experience isn’t universal either professor. We need books to understand life from a different perspective.”

They are not talking about books anymore, but if the girl wants to ask something, she should know to be clear about it. He tolerates the Albus’ cryptic bullshit, but he doesn’t have the patience for others’.

“In that case, Miss Clearwater, you should learn how to choose them wisely. Now are you still interested in our previous line of conversation or you came here to debate philosophy?”

Clearwater quickly nods, and it looks like she really wants to know. She isn’t here only for the beast, and that’s a relief if he ever had one. It’s also clever of her. Masking her intentions with truth instead of lies.

“There are three important differences. One is of course the difficulty. Now the while making of the Obrussa takes time, several regulated ingredients and experience few have, the untangling potion is relatively easy to brew. Medi-witches and wizards require it in bigger quantities, so hospitals mostly use the easier of the two.”

He can it in her eyes that she has a question. One she tries really hard not to ask, which is highly unusual. She and her brother usually bombard him with those, never keeping back anything.

“You have something to add, Miss Clearwater?” she hesitates, and that’s something unusual too.

“How regulated are these ingredients?” He blinks. Well it’s certainly not what he expected, but he still has no idea why she is so nervous about this. Maybe it’s the impending talk they are going to have very soon. He really hopes it’s not.

“It varies. These particular ones are heavily monitored, but there are some cases where it’s mostly a formality.” By the look of it, it doesn’t exactly satisfy her, but she isn’t asking and he can’t answer; because he doesn’t casually read his students mind like _Albus_, thank you very much.

Instead he goes back explaining her original question.

“Now the untangling potion will provide you plenty of information on the desired, and most of the time cursed, object or person; but the Obrussa gives you a much greater, in depth understanding of both the curse and the cursed, depending on how much potions you used.” Clearwater nods, and this was probably in some of the books she went through.

“From what I’m guessing you read there isn’t too much difference between the quantity of the information.” She gives him another nod and he sighs. “It’s only accurate because few people can handle that much information appearing directly in their mind.”

He catches the soft “what the fuck”, and continues like he didn’t just revealed one of the weirdest potions effect known to the wizarding world.

“It is possible for someone to train themselves and avoid brain damage, and if one survives the initial information overload; they gain instant understanding of it. That’s why it’s mostly used by aurors who need to react immediately. They have a strict individual limit, and every one of them goes through rigorous training to get there.”

He doesn’t tell her that the potion works even when there is no curse to pick apart. That it can be used on animals and that it’s almost always fatal to them. That it’s origin is a mystery, but existed hundreds of years before the founders.

Instead they talk a little more, about other potions that can reveal curses and make them disappear. And Severus doesn’t understand why she is suddenly interested in the topic, but it’s the first time she is here in a long while, he won’t go and question it. That reminds him.

“Miss Clearwater, I find myself curios about your brother’s whereabouts.”

“Rob didn’t have time today, some essays he said.”

It’s a lie, a blatant one of that. The boy probably doesn’t want to be involved the unavoidable questioning his sister will provide. Right now she seems to be gathering courage to speak up.

“Something on your mind, Miss Clearwater?”

“Just… uhm…”

“Despite what you think, I do not have all day.” It’s probably cruel, especially, when he just spent several hours talking about potions with the girl, but he wants to get through the inevitable as soon as possible. There is no reason delaying it.

(He also wants to know her opinion on the matter, maybe to get an opportunity to explain himself. He does not hope for that; nobody gave him that in his life.)

“I just wanted to know, why did you made us… why did you made us write that essay. To professor Lupin. About werewolves… about killing them.”

“I am familiar with the essay Miss Clearwater.”

“Sorry, sir, just wanted to know…” 

And how can he explain it to her? That her favorite, that everyone’s favorite teacher is not as harmless as they think. That he tried to kill him once, and got away with it.

Not just got away with it, but never even apologized for it, continuing his life like it never happened, while he was terrified to be in the same classroom as him.

That for months he would see yellow eyes following him, hiding in every shadow, every corner. That when he had seen Fenrir Grayback there was a minute he couldn’t breathe. That more than a decade later, he still wakes up trembling, because in his dreams he was not fast enough.

He couldn’t tell her that, but he needed her to understand it.

“Professor Lupin is not as kind as he shows it to the world, Miss Clearwater.”

“Just because he is a werewolf sir, it doesn’t mean he can’t be a good man! He changes once a month! Hell it happens as often I get my period; does that mean I am a monster too.” she winced at his raised eyebrow. “Sorry sir.”

“There is a difference between bleeding and turning into a monster, but it isn’t the only reason why he could be potentially dangerous. And while I never met a good werewolf, it is the second reason why you should know how to defend yourself against him.”

“Sir?”

“Remus Lupin, was Sirius Black’s friend. With the man once again free, who knows where his loyalty lies.” Surprise flashes across her face but the new information doesn’t seem to deter her from arguing.

“That doesn’t equal with him being an enemy.”

“Yet those who were close to Black all ended up dead, he is the only one who survived.” He isn’t sure he should be telling her all this, but she will be safer. Knowing all this will make it so. “During the war, we know there was a traitor among us, and everyone suspected him.”

“But it turned out to be Black.”

“But how do we do there wasn’t two, Miss Clearwater? After all it’s awfully convenient that he accepted the teaching position just after Black escaped. Don’t you think?”

It’s obvious that this never occurred to her, so he waits. He lets her to digest the information at her own pace, waiting for her questions that are surely coming.

He is proven right when not even a minute later she asks him.

“Was it offered before?”

“Countless times.” He can see her thinking, and thinking hard. He knows that it probably won’t change her mind, he also isn’t sure if the beast is actually on the Dark Lord’s side, or it’s just a coincidence. That doesn’t change the fact that he is dangerous, and the students need to know that.

He is ready for anything and he still isn’t expecting her next question.

“Was he labeled as a traitor, because he did something bad, or just because he was a werewolf?”

She is clever, and it’s a good one, but he didn’t have an answer then, and he has even less now; almost a decade and a half later.

“I don’t know, Miss Clearwater. All I know that there were several unlikely problems occurred during his mission, and that was the catalyst.”

“So we can’t be sure that he committed anything.”

“We also can’t be sure he didn’t do it.” He points it out. “As I said, I have never met a good werewolf in my life.”

She pauses again, and he can almost hear her picking the problem apart, before she looks him. There is a stubborn set to her mouth he has seen many times through the years; and he knows whatever she is going to say, he won’t like it.

“But how can anyone be good if they have never been given the chance to try, sir?”

It hits home, it really does, because most of the time there wasn’t a chance for him. He didn’t have a chance with his father, with his house, with being a death eater. Hell his current position came from a desperate decision, not from a chance to do good because he could do it. It all boiled down to survival, and keeping alive the few he cared and loved.

His only chance for anything was Lily, and he fucked that up really bad.

He wants to tell Clearwater to get out, or just… take back what she said. Anything to keep himself from wondering how would he turned out without all the beatings and harassing and surviving.

He is what he is, and he can’t change that, but that doesn’t mean his brain won’t think about it. Won’t circle about endless lost opportunities and perfect worlds.

He should say something to her, but he can’t get anything past his lips, breath seemingly caught somewhere between his lungs and his mouth. He wants to.

He wants to school his face back to the calm uncaring façade he usually wears. He wants to say something sarcastic, something dark, maybe both, to make that burning stubbornness in her go away, because he just can’t bear it.

In the end he doesn’t has to. Clearwater watches him for a several seconds more, then she nods, like she just confirmed something important. She grabs her bags, puts her scrolls quickly away and leaves, without another word.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there, motionless, he doesn’t care. When he finally feels like he won’t shake apart, he stands and goes to bed skipping dinner and leaving the remaining grading for the next day.

He doesn’t sleep peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank for reading!
> 
> as I said it before I have no idea when will I update
> 
> you can ask me anything and don't feel bad if I don't answer immediately... I'm kind of a cryptid

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this!! I really hope you liked it.
> 
> Also there isn't an update schedule and I have no idea when I am updating. The good news is that I actually have an outline fort this. Yeey for me.


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